@flashember: a firefly accidentally calling one of the stars in the night sky "mom" lol like how embarassing
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@Breadery: Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?
@bumdog7: I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don't bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
@Ivsy01: Me: It's just a piece of paper, it won't change anything between us. Him: It's a police report.
@TheTalkingPipe: I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me.