@dafloydsta: A first date is probably the best time to show off your wicked hand puppet skills.
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@SocialExtortion: fun prank: text a girl "we need to talk right now" and then throw your phone into a river
@sofarrsogud: Me: Honey, I left work early to pick up the kids! Wife: But we d.. *I arrive into the kitchen with two small goats Meet Frank and Dolores
@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.