@dafloydsta: A first date is probably the best time to show off your wicked hand puppet skills.
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@MuttCutts: "Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there.
@simoncholland: One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don't want to do.
@JohnFugelsang: Welcome to America, where the politicians we dislike 'flip-flop on issues' but the politicians we like 'evolve.'
@timdonakowski: After weeks of being called lazy, not only did I put up all our Christmas decorations today, I also took them down.