@13spencer: A Florida police dog is being fired after biting two people; but to be fair, who wouldn't want to hurt people from Florida?
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@weinerdog4life: The elites don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the park are free you can take them home I have 458 ducks
@5hael: Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?
@MaryannSaintM: Stop asking me to vote for your kid in contests. I'm too nice of a person to tell you I'm surprised you got laid in the first place.
@TheCatWhisprer: STUNTMAN ON TV: don't try this at home ME [sitting on couch eating out of a 5 lb. bag of m&ms]: ok