@eddiesteadyno: A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up.
@chelliet22: My daughter just informed me that 75% of you follow me because of how I look. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or insulted.
@WhatTheFFacts: Boxer Sugar Ray dreamt of killing his opponent and backed out, but a priest convinced him to fight, he ended up killing the opponent.
@heidi420x: I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops.