@eddiesteadyno: A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese.
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@iamburtjarvis: lawyer: I haven't won a case since last year's hearing loss. me: what was the hearing for? lawyer: WHAT? me: the hearing. lawyer: WHAT?
@tweetsauce: This is ridiculous: "www" contains THREE TIMES more syllables than the phrase it is 'short' for, "world wide web."
@ilikeyouguys: Go to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me w that needle, I run off yelling 'thanks for the free shave loser!'
@Tmoney68: Have manufacturers of picket fences ever gone on strike? Because the irony would be awesome. Take your time, I'll wait.