@HeatherLuvsYou: A foreign kid asked me how to speak English the other day, so I teached him some.
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@mostlydelirious: Phone just autocorrected "your" to "yore" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee.
@Crunk_Jews: This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom.
@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects
@tease: posting a sc story for 1 specific person to see is the modern day equivalent of gatsby hosting elaborate parties in hopes that daisy attends