@HeatherLuvsYou: A foreign kid asked me how to speak English the other day, so I teached him some.
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@fro_vo: [speed date] Hi i'm Rob, I like sports, classic rock and have an irrational fear of bees. What's your name? Abby OH SHIT WHERE
@therealeatwood: ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance.
@HatfieldAnne: Learn to ask more specific questions. It's not “How do I look?” It's “Do I look good enough people are surprised I married you?”
@jordan_stratton: If you think January has been a big month for marches, you're gonna lose your mind when you hear what the 3rd month of the year is called.