@gorrdano: A forest fire is the world's way of adding black trees to the forest community.
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@Rollinintheseat: When you're talking to someone with no teeth, you find out teeth are also a retaining wall for spit.
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to 11 y.o: "You need to apologize to your sister for calling her stupid." 11: "Okkk... I'm sor- wait. Which sister?"
@noog: GET OVER HERE thunders across the bar as a harpooned rope impales a beautiful girl. The bartender smiles and shakes his head at Scorpion.
@MinedOvaMatter: I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving.