@Underchilde: A friend asked how I’d describe a hot air balloon, and I just told him it’s a lot like my ex, but with a basket.
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@InternetHippo: Me for many years: I wish my friends were interested in politics Now that all my friends are interested in politics: Oh this sucks actually
@BigPlanetEarth: Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though.....
@KevinFarzad: Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits.