@Underchilde: A friend asked how I’d describe a hot air balloon, and I just told him it’s a lot like my ex, but with a basket.
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@serialmatrix: God: sends you to hell for aborting your 'child'.nGod: killed his only son.nAnd that, ladies & gentlemen, is religion in a nutshell.
@jake_likes_naps: [gets down on 1 knee with ring box] GF: OMG! Me: Babe? GF: Yes? Me: One ring to rule them all. [I put on the ring and vanish forever]