@JohnLyonTweets: A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Beyerstein: Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time.
@KalvinMacleod: I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band.
@TravLeBlanc: My friend went to a salon and asked them to straighten his hair. So they took out his highlights.
@DanMentos: "We were trapped in the elevator and had to make a terrible decision" Which was? "We ate Bill" OMG. How long were you in there? “4 minutes"