@jenstatsky: A frittata is just an omelette that studied abroad for a year in college.
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@Jayson_Two_time: I'll accept the consequences but in my defense, it was a double dare.. Judge: well in that case, I triple dog dare you 60 days in jail.
@FeelingMervis: Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give a man another fish, "Hey man where's that fish I gave you Monday? YOU ATE IT?! IT WAS A PET!!"
@bobvulfov: [gf falls asleep during a movie] ME: aw [i get a blanket] ME: *hitting her w/ the blanket* wake up ur missing the part with gollum's riddles
@Kyle_Lippert: [A bengals fan watching Titanic] I can't wait until the end when Jack and Rose get married