@BigBagOfScum: A fun thing to do is comment "that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
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@PhilLaysheO: If a cougar left her teeth next to my bed in a glass of water was that a tip? Do I have to change the water? Do I feed them like goldfish?
@RexHuppke: Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: "Still not sure if we like it, tbh."