@Bearslietoo: A fun thing to do is to tell a complete stranger that you met your boyfriend on Twitter and then show them a cat.
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@JustDontBugMe: MIL: You're going to give me a heart attack someday! M: Last time I checked you didn't even have a heart.
@notalogin: *I look into abyss* *Abyss looks at me* *Abyss blinking message in Morse code* *I go off to learn Morse* *I return* "Why do we park in a dri
@_b1p0larbear: Thinking about kids? My son poured syrup in every floor vent. 11 years later it still smells like waffles every time the heat comes on.