@Bearslietoo: A fun thing to do is to tell a complete stranger that you met your boyfriend on Twitter and then show them a cat.
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@trumpetcake: People always complain that I'm "out there." [On the phone. To the cops. While I'm sitting in their birdbath.]
@AngelaEhh: I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn't think.