@Book_Krazy: A fun way to make someone self conscious, is to put a nose hair trimmer in their grocery cart while maintaing full eye contact with them.
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@Xalqee: My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike
@Book_Krazy: *Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* "yeah, you'll be back.”
@ninetek: If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German
@BuckyIsotope: JESUS: *descends from heaven* HELLO- ME: question JESUS: I- ME: do the cars from the movie Cars have sex? JESUS: *ascends back into heaven*