@Book_Krazy: A fun way to make someone self conscious, is to put a nose hair trimmer in their grocery cart while maintaing full eye contact with them.
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@AndrewNadeau0: ME: Table…table doesn't look great JESUS: Through me you will have eternal life ME: ok cool but you SPECIFICALLY said you were a carpenter
@lurve_meh: They say kill 'em with kindness but it's much quicker if you just take their phone charger away.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: I just heard a dad at the gas station talk to his kid in a creepy Emperor Palpatine voice. At least MY dad just yelled like a normal psycho.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: *sees a hot christian girl* Me: I am christian now,where do i get one of those plus signs? Friend: That's a cross. Me: across from where?