@causticbob: A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
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@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us
@KeetPotato: [ordering cake over phone] "and what would you like the cake to say?" [covers phone to ask wife] "do we want a talking cake?"