@iamchrisscott: A good comeback when someone doesn't believe you're a time traveler is "Yeah well nobody cried at your funeral."
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@dafloydsta: DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: No. DOCTOR: Are you at least active? ME: Also no.
@scarebro: Scientists use dead bodies? Jesus, I know they're nerds but they should still be able to make living friends.
@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a woman who doesn't remember asking you to wake her up from a nap
@Snarfernini: If you ever say 'I seen' in a sentence. I will never sleep with you. Under any circumstances. Ever.* *including zombie apocalypse