@iamchrisscott: A good comeback when someone doesn't believe you're a time traveler is "Yeah well nobody cried at your funeral."
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@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
@Cryptoterra: NOBODY MOVE THIS IS A ROBBERY! *other robber looks over at me* dude no you can move. We talked about this. Get the money
@realHamOnWry: You can lead a horse to water, but you have to work really, really hard to get him up on water skis.