@VodkaShorebird: A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".
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@UnFitz: When they wheel me out in a body bag I hope someone sticks a pair of googly eyes on the outside.
@djdarrellripley: Ugh! You. Are. A. Terrible. Kisser. If your looking for my tonsils, I had them taken out when I was 8...
@Sickayduh: CVS clerk: Receipt? Me: Sure *God uses 2 fingers to gently close the eyes of an entire rain forest*
@TheChrisAngel: By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks.