@VodkaShorebird: A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".
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@causticbob: The kidnapper rang and said "£10,000 and you get your wife back" "Negotiate with him!" advised the policeman "£20,000 and she's all yours"
@MUMSIEesq: ME: My husband has a cold do you have those euthanasia pills? PHARMACIST: I think you mean echinacea pills haha ME: No.