@paulablu22: A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."
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@1Bad_Scientist: *at Thanksgiving dinner* Me: One of you is eating poison green bean casserole. Everyone: *gasp* Me: Just kidding you all are.
@Reverend_Scott: God: You finish all 11 commandments? Moses: About the 11th one... God: What? Moses: Check yourself before you wreck yourself? God: Fine, 10.
@beefman138: Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I'm guessing it's the same place you're going.