@paulablu22: A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."
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@JB4Realz: I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog.
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.
@dafloydsta: WIFE: Now stick to the list, okay? ME: I will. [later] WIFE: What the hell? [6 puppies run by] ME: Relax, they were on sale, Karen.
@josh___grant: I wear my tattoos on the inside. Ever since having discount back surgery from a guy named "Spider."