@yenniwhite: A GPS. But for where your story is going.
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@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?
@TheJamieLee: Whenever someone says they hate cats and they're all shitty and snobby about it, I'm like, "Weird cuz you behave JUST like one."
@mrtruthandsoul: *breaks out of prison *hunted by police for weeks *crawls thru 22 miles of mud to your house* Me: <taps on your window> DID YOU GET MY TEXT?
@crunchenhanced: *Stands at produce aisle *Grabs GIANT zucchini *Holds it high in the air *Yells: Is THIS cucumber big enough for you, honey?!?!?!