@AbbyHasIssues: A group of crows is called a murder. A group of people walking slowly in front of me at the store is called a motive.
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@WilliamAder: If it wasn't for the 140 character limit, I'd be on Chapter 27 of my first tweet right now.
@TheCiscoKidder: I have a dog to make sure that the noises in the middle of the night are nothing serious and I have a cat to make those noises.
@iGreenMonk: TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
@Chumpstring: Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Bring one of those long grabber sticks so you can take the other guy's gun away.