@AbbyHasIssues: A group of crows is called a murder. A group of people walking slowly in front of me at the store is called a motive.
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@djdarrellripley: Look, I know you really miss her. But, you know what? Sometimes things aren't meant to be. One time I really wanted this waffle....
@prontopup: "'Earth' without 'the' is just 'ar'." - Pirates If you haven't seen "Earth without art is just eh" then you prolly didn't like this tweet.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: What did you get me for Mother's Day? 3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it? 3: You haven't made it yet.