@maebemarbles: I'd like to meet those almond milk farmers. Shake their teeny hands.

@fro_vo: [god creating the beetle] what if a bee and a turtle had sex

@CornerPubRon: My computer is frozen. Unfortunately it looks like moving my mouse around in circles did absolutely nothing to fix the problem.

@garrydavenport: My local cinema was broken into last night and goods worth £15,000 stolen: a packet of popcorn and a medium Coke.

@ddsmidt: A lady posted her grandmother's brownie recipe, so I tried making them. Turns out her grandma was a terrible cook