@WheelTod: A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet
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@Manali_Shetye5: Him:The seven dwarves were on a bus, they all started to feel Sleepy. So Sleepy got off. Me:Oh come on, man! That pun was Dopey!
@shegotagronk: Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now.
@ZAKagan: Me: look at these colorful leaves, fall is so beautiful Leaf: *cough* behold the desolation of my brothers *wheeze* death surrounds us all