@juliussharpe: A guy just came into this restaurant by himself, ordered a plate of olives, ate them, and left. If you see something, say something.
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@thenatewolf: One unintended consequence of unprotected sex is that sometimes, 6 years later, a small child is forced to learn the recorder.
@david8hughes: [doc walks in holding up my X-rays with one hand & giving a thumbs down with the other] Bad news, pal. You're a skeleton.
@Book_Krazy: Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat
@DanMentos: My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa