@Dawn_M_: A guy told me I'm bad at flirting and I got so mad I took back all the dead birds I nailed to his door.
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@KentWGraham: I don’t think this bowl of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on my desk is making me as indispensable to the workplace as I had hoped.
@thebeckyard: Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth.
@TheBoydP: If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazine for the articles?