@k_lli: A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work.
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@WheelTod: I asked my neighbor to watch my dog for a couple of nights, as my neighbor's a private detective & I think my dog might be having an affair.
@4Crocs: If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
@o__0Dev: I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task...