@koala_hugs: a gymnast walks into a bar. she is immediately given a 0.0 and disqualified from Olympic trials. you're supposed to jump OVER the bar, idiot
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@Jacob_Swift16: When I was a child someone shot me with a flare gun and I've been absolutely fabulous ever since
@UNTRESOR: You should always read labels. I was about to eat this rat poison but then saw it has gluten in it. I could have died,
@Jake_Vig: I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.