@VerifiedDrunk: A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that's not a sacrifice I'm willing to make for love.
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@samalmightysam: I want my marriage to be a forever one night stand, laughing and joking, beer drinking, dancing, pizza in bed kinda relationship.
@PeteBlackburn: Biden: I wonder if I’ll still get free ice cream when I’m no longer VP Obama: Joe, we have bigger problems. Biden:
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids are celebrating National Siblings Day just like I knew they would: screaming & fighting.
@HollyHeals: Laughter is the best medicine........unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine.