@Bob_Janke: A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and he says it's so when I'm eating prairie grasses I can see predators
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@nicfit75: Neighbors having their yearly Xmas party. Not invited again. So don't tell me the screaming drunken outdoor fights don't pay off.
@jergarl: Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:...
@AddledPixie: Oh my god, my jeans fit! All I have to do is not sit down, not walk, and not breathe. I totally got this.