@Coolisiana: *a jerk tries to punch me but I catch it perfectly in my mouth and swallow him whole like a snake*
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@DurtMcHurtt: I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon.
@Brampersandon_: ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary
@DonovanConvery: If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now.