@LuvPug: A kiss so passionate you have first degree burns from the melted cheese on the pizza.
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@TheRolo: [Gets shot by mugger] Girl walks by: omg are u ok? I'm dying [sees she isn't wearing a ring] I mean I'm fine but not as fine as you, sup?
@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?
@aidanjsears: ALEX TREBEK: it says here that you are on jeopardy ME: correct AT: this can't be your fun fact ME: *whispers* i don't have anything else ok