@LuvPug: A kiss so passionate you have first degree burns from the melted cheese on the pizza.
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@ilovepie84: I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette.
@aka_fatman: "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"
@76coop: 20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar.
@einsteinsexual: Stereotypes are just like regular types, except every time someone almost kills me, while I'm driving, it's an Asian person.