@frenchielaboozi: a lady was like "can you believe he's 14 months old already" and i am like you know what i can cause you post a pic of him every single day
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@Mr_Kapowski: Hair Stylist: What are we doing today? Me: Let's do something that will look great here but I'll have no chance of replicating at home
@nerdsrockk: When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress.
@TommyWallace: [Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"