@ElKnuckelhombre: A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse.
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@SaraMansford: Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving
@HatfieldAnne: My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven’t caught me yet.
@StellaGMaddox: According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, when parents relax, children must increase the amount of disorder in the universe to compensate.