@ElKnuckelhombre: A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse.
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@JMFnSparks: The best part about having a homeless girlfriend is after our date I can drop her off wherever I want
@SteveSuckington: "I'm just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink" -guy who discovered milk
@CauseWereGuys: The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait.