@ElKnuckelhombre: A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse.
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@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance
@darksidedeb: I like my men well-rounded and sweet and rich and available and covered in sprinkles wait a minute... that's donuts I like donuts
@CulturedRuffian: *on a date * Her: I love hiking, camping...I LOVE THE OUTDOORS! * trying to impress * Me: I live outside. Her: What? Me: I’m homeless.