@omgthatspunny: A lawyer-turned-cook is a sue chef.
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@ehdannyboy: "I'm leaving you" "why?" "Your jokes are old and tiresome" "but, I can updog" "What's updog?" "NOTHIN, WHAT'S UP WI-" *slams door*
@JessBWatson: I'm not sure what I did wrong but the pile of LEGOs left on the bath mat while I was in the shower seems like some kind of threat.
@mcmullenforus: College is literally the best/worst time of your life. One minute you’re living it up with your friends, the next you have $3.00 and 4 exams