@qwertying: A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? Father: No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
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@XplodingUnicorn: Texas principal: If that's a homemade clock and not a bomb, what time is it? Muslim student: Time for a lawsuit.
@Eagle_Vision: You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they are around your throat, she is probably upset at you.
@TheTalkingPipe: My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, "welcome to idiom club". Now, let's cut to the chase.
@doublewenis: Hey...quick question, fellas: Does it still count as leg day if you just shaved them?