@qwertying: A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? Father: No, some begin with - If elected I promise..
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him.
@SoVeryBritish: Neighbour chat: “Alright?” “Not bad, thanks, you?” “Yeah not bad!” “Haha, see you later!” Then into the safety of your car, to wonder why you laughed so much for no reason