@Just_Lee_: A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
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@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus". Yeah....I don't know either.
@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.
@generaldietz: Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.
@JRobb773: Life is full of lovely, unexpected surprises, like watching two pigeons attack this guy on the street for no reason.