@AsaAkira: A lot of you are calling me "mom" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old.
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@protolalia: Me: You're kidnapping me? Where're we going? Can we feed my cats first? Is there a ransom? Cool van. My name- Him: Changed my mind. Get out.
@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down.
@RobinMcCauley: A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Shit Sherlock Research Institute.
@goldengateblond: "We had unprotected sex. Give us a present." -- the subtext of every baby shower