@AsaAkira: A lot of you are calling me "mom" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old.
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@AndLive2Love: My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
@AngrEdmontonian: Apparently, "Step up your game" isn't the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
@Home_Halfway: Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage