@SpencerLenox: A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!
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@TheAlexNevil: *looks at fish tank 6: It's part cat and part fish? Me: No it's just a fish *Catfish maintains eye contact while pushing over treasure chest
@therealeatwood: SANTA: I don’t need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start