@veggiefemme: A moment of silence for those who sacrificed themselves to determine which mushrooms taste good with pasta, which are fun & which kill you.
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@Samzen_: All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women.
@fillthevacuum: If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once.
@InternetHippo: If Trump is so bad why does he visit a homeless shelter every day? [someone whispers in my ear] I am now being told it’s to taunt them