@veggiefemme: A moment of silence for those who sacrificed themselves to determine which mushrooms taste good with pasta, which are fun & which kill you.
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@Just_Lee_: When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
@rockymomax: [Jesus entering surf contest] Judge: What type of board will you be riding? Jesus: [looks at feet] They're using boards?
@minnie_in_pink7: Not to brag, but I can cure a man of having a thing for me in five minutes flat.
@GrumpyComments: Stormtrooper 1: You ever think that maybe we're with the bad guys? Stormtrooper 2: Nah, lets just head back to the Death St... to the ship.