@veggiefemme: A moment of silence for those who sacrificed themselves to determine which mushrooms taste good with pasta, which are fun & which kill you.
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@lwhit_the_boss: The government is so screwed up and dysfunctional, I'm amazed I haven't tried to date it yet
@SomeChrisTweets: Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.
@mbichaela: me [to snail on ceiling]: ah ure a cute lil guy how'd u get up there? snail: I just want to die pls why do I have to be so sticky
@ObscureGent: Stealing the candy is not the issue here. The real issue is why are you feeding your baby candy.