@RandiLawson: a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers
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@TheMichaelRock: *wife gives me a big hug before I leave for work* I love you too, babe! [later] Where's my credit card? Son of a..
@amydillon: Roasted broccoli for dinner tonight, and the rave reviews are in. "What is this? It tastes like hair," said one ungrateful child.
@_Water_Baby: Endless love does not extend to my root beer float. That second straw is decorative.
@noog: People act like weed is the worst thing for short-term memory. Go drink 15 beers and see if you can remember your name or how legs work.