@RandiLawson: a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers
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@iscoff: It's fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car's side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
@KeetPotato: priest: "does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?" me: "SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS" priest: [slowly closes bible]
@errdayhustlah: According to my neighbor's rooster, it's 5am now. Also according to my neighbor's rooster, we're having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.