@brendohare: A nation cheers as Bigfoot is finally found. "We just yelled his name," said the head explorer. "Can't believe no one thought of that."
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@FirstDateStory: "Went to watch a movie, I was wearing shorts and he swiped his finger on my leg. Later found out he wiped his booger on me"
@junejuly12: To the woman who just honked at me to leave this parking spot, I suddenly have dozens of urgent emails to respond to.