@juliussharpe: A new study shows dolphins have great memory. Memories include "Swam in water" and "Ate".
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@katlamcglynn: Why are books the only thing advertised as "Wherever books are sold." You can't sell other stuff by saying "Wherever you get this shit, IDK"
@patrickhogan91: *Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* "Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"
@TweetingDadGuy: Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said "I Love My Grand-dog" and I think l'm going to be ok.