@PussycatPlace: A parakeet that won't shut up equals dinner for fluffy tonight.
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@BareChesty: Sorry I'm late, there was an octopus throwing pies at me so I was literally... Occupied
@KaptainKoRnie: Since the invention of the smart phone, how many times have you clicked a desktop icon once and waited for a response. Ok, just me?
@tchrquotes: Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up.
@lasergirl70: Friend "Listen to this. I had wine delivered the other night and I ended up having sex with the delivery guy" Me "There's WINE delivery?"