@causticbob: A pastor, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...
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@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.
@thegayfarmerguy: The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.
@kiel_phillips: ME: I'd like to return a defective boomerang SHOPKEEPER: Ok. Where is it? ME: I have no idea
@NicestHippo: *deliberately drops paper in front of cute girl* Oh my goodness was that my...(sexy voice) political science degree