@fuglylife: A poem about bugs: If it can fly, it should die.
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@MomoVonTrite: Today is my mom's birthday or as she calls it, Cinco de Seis, because someone taught her just enough Spanish to be annoying.
@iwearaonesie: complaining about your wife's stories will result in having to sit through her story about the time you complained about her stories
@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"