@fuglylife: A poem about bugs: If it can fly, it should die.
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@MarfSalvador: paramedic: [performing mouth to mouth on grandpa] me: oh god not at christmas!! not like this! [holds up mistletoe] ok carry on
@10InchesPlus: You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!
@Staggfilms: ROBIN: How come you wear dark colors but make me wear a bright yellow cape? BATMAN: [under his breath] It’s called a bullet magnet. ROBIN: What? BATMAN: What?