@JayJazzi: A policeman came into my house and told me to put my hands up.I told him that he wasn't a DJ and we laughed and laughed and now I'm in jail.
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@goodtimenoel: Note to self: Before committing any murders, get head and shoulders. Can't be leaving DNA all over the place.
@Tmoney68: So, Facebook is celebrating its 10th birthday. What do you buy for the social media app that makes you hate everyone?
@MrMichaelRose: my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place
@iwearaonesie: Pooh: There's a rumbly in my tumbly Piglet: What? Pooh: There's. A. Rumbly. In. My. Tumbly Piglet: Pooh: I'm hungry Piglet: Say that then