@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.
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@wickedimproper: Note to the 82 year old widow who won the Powerball jackpot last night: Sup, girl?
@ceejoyner: OFFICER DOWN I REPEAT WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I'm fine just down for whatever. Dancing or something fun.
@Reverend_Scott: JUDGE: I find you guilty of murder. Sentenced to life. LAWYER: But it was only 20 minutes of murder. JUDGE: Oh, then you're free to go.