@fillthevacuum: A pregnant pause is like a regular pause but it doesn't have a period.
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@hazelmotes1: When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, how do you spell Budweiser?" "Uhhh....why?" "I'm drawing a picture of you for school." "Cool! It's spelled G-A-T-O-R-A-D-E."