@TayTayJustine: A "ramification" sounds a lot more fun than it actually is.
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@Poopy_Pizza_Pal: *boss trying to relate to younger employees* "Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"
@Sean_Burgundy_: [ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up
@chrissyissie: Literally held in a sneeze because I was giving my husband the silent treatment and I didn't want him to bless me
@pixelatedboat: Fact: Bernie Sanders won't release his birth certificate because it proves that when he was born he was already a 74-year-old man