@TayTayJustine: A "ramification" sounds a lot more fun than it actually is.
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@ericsshadow: Went to Costco for eggs. Walked out with a toaster oven, an 80 inch 4K TV, minus 1 child and no eggs.
@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
@Dutch_50: Good thing they specify all our brushes. Differentiating things like toothbrush from toilet brush can get confusing.
@KizerBillhelm: I just got a Facebook invite to my brother's non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more.