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@brunopieroni: A search party sounds like a fun way to look for someone.
@DamienFahey: I'll complain about the government invading my privacy after I tell you where I am on Facebook and posting what I'm eating on Instagram.
@LoveNLunchmeat: *sets down half eaten bag of potato chips on the elliptical*
@DanMentos: *guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick*
Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?
-commercial for business cards
@mattZillaaaa: I just want to be rich enough to stop giving people toilet paper for Christmas
@Gooooats: People who criticize the year 2016 seem to have forgotten that back in May McDonald's accidentally gave me a Chicken McNugget with my fries.