@dom_dot_dom: A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless
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@LindaInDisguise: I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying "I gave you one yesterday."
@freeDone01: My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry.
@amishschool: Coworker left himself signed in to LinkedIn and now his skills include "mouth breathing".
@ArfMeasures: [Bank] ROBBER: Look, as long as everyone is cool, no-one will die *I walk in* ROBBER [picks up gun] well, guess what, everyone