@dom_dot_dom: A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless
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@QwertyJones3: TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific
@joelu72: [being mugged] ME: can i keep things of sentimental value? ROBBER: ok ME:[pulling things from wallet] my favorite cash...my lucky debit card
@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs.
@daemonic3: CANADIAN: Let's watch a movie AMERICAN: Have you seen Titanic? CANADIAN: What's that about? AMERICAN: Yes, it was. A huge one that sank