@sixthformpoet: A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
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@brunopieroni: No Amazon, I don't want to sort stuff by "Price: High to Low," who are the billionaires who would even make that an option?
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something.
@BadaBinge: There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body and some people manage to get on every one.
@thatdutchperson: [about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR