@benerdist: A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
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@tiffstevenson: Boyf said I look really pretty when I'm concentrating...I realised its cos I'm quiet! Either way it's the last time I let him watch me poo
@MartaEffing: I hate when I catch a bouquet at a wedding and everyone judges me for lighting it on fire.