@benerdist: A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
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@InternetHippo: doctor: your wife has gone into labour me: oh no wife (yelling from a distance): RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE
@samalmightysam: The world would be a better place if everybody drank alcohol. It would get even better if some of them choked on it.